When you want to express your condolences but you are at a loss for words. Here are several tips and examples to help you.
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Losing someone close to you either a friend or family member can be very tough but we are NOT alone. God is right there with you, even through the darkest moments. In an expression of our sympathy we can help those grieving.
Writing a sympathy card can be a very stressful task for some people. You might be scared you’ll say the wrong thing or not enough and you’ll drive yourself crazy pondering the perfect words. The good news is, there are no perfect words! The point is to let friends and family know that you’re thinking about them during this time of loss. It’s certainly not easy, but it’s important! In fact, God calls us to.
You never know just how much reaching out to someone and letting them know you care can help make their grief a little easier. I had a boss who told me that her friend reached out to her a year after her parents died on the day and it meant so much to her that someone remembered and cared. It’s not always about what you say. It’s the thought that counts!
Tips for writing your heartfelt condolences
Be Sincere
Authentic personal messages mean a lot to people who are dealing with grief. Sharing your feelings and being open, is a good expression of your sympathy. Being sincere is a thoughtful way of sharing your condolence. Of course your personal message will be based on your relationship to the person.
Talking About the Death
It’s okay to acknowledge the death. Sometimes it seems we’re scared to bring it up. It might seem awkward, but it’s okay. Talking openly about the death can make people feel more comfortable knowing you’re not scared to talk about it and they might be more likely to open up to you about their feelings in the future if needed.
Offering Help
If you’re able to offer help, then let them know in your sympathy card. A simple meal or running an errand for someone who is grieving can be such a help. It’s often hard to do things, especially when you’re still in shock over your loss. Offering to help with simple things can mean a lot, even if they don’t accept your offer. Again, it’s the thought that counts. They know you’re there for them if they do need help.
Celebrate the Loved One
Celebrating the life of a loved one is especially good to do in a sympathy card. Acknowledging special memories or stating how special they were and what they meant to you and to others can really mean a lot to someone who is grieving.
Sharing Scripture
Sharing scripture can help to bring assurance and hope. The Bible can also bring comfort in times of loss. In fact right in scripture it says “…to encourage each other with these words…” 1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words.
Example Sympathy Card Messages
Here are a list of several examples to help get you started with writing your condolences. You can personalize accordingly, based on your relationship with the one you’re writing to.
- I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m here if you need to talk.
- I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and praying for you.
- Sending my love and deepest sympathy to you and your family.
- I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart breaks for you. Please know I’m here for you.
- I can’t imagine how you must feel. I’m praying for you and I’m here if you need anything. Don’t hesitate to reach out.
- It’s never easy to know what to say because we were never meant to deal with death. But Jesus does say to encourage each other with these words. “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves…” 1 Thessalonians 4:16. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:4
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
Scriptures
Scripture can be an important part of healing and recovering from grief and loss. Dwelling on God’s Word and his promises can bring a comfort and calmness that is unexplainable! So I encourage you to share scripture in your condolences. The benefit isn’t just for who you’re writing your sympathy card for. You will also benefit! Below are a few scriptures that are comforting during a time of loss. You can find more comforting scriptures on my post: 50 Bible Verses to Calm You
Comforting Scriptures
Psalm 147:3 – He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
John 14:1-3 – Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.
1 John 3:2 – Dear friends, we are already children of God, but our full restoration (and what we will become) has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ comes again, we shall be just like him in character, for we will be able to see him, face to face, just as he is.
Revelation 21:4 – He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.
Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Remember, just because there is blank space in your card doesn’t mean you have to fill it up! So whether you decide to write a little or a lot, the important thing is that you are sincere and have reached out. You’ve showed empathy and that means more than doing nothing at all.
Of course I would recommend adding scripture and the encouraging reminder that God is with them and ready to heal their broken hearts. But do what feels natural to you!
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